The Day Grandad Got His Revenge

Featured in the November 2008 handbook.

Grandad was out shopping in Northdown Road the other day and when he reached the Zebra Crossing he waited until he could cross, he was about a quarter the way across when a big black car, with windows open and music blaring, shot straight over the crossing without any thought of stopping, and he had to jump back quickly. It scared the life out of him, a few people asked if he was OK and he said he was, just a bit shaken up. He carried on with his shopping and thought no more about it. After about half an hour of popping in and out of shops he was further down Northdown Road when he noticed a Traffic Warden starting to write a ticket for a big black car, it was the very same car that had made him jump out of the way. So Grandad went up the Traffic Warden and said, “Come on mate, how about giving a Senior Citizen a break”. He ignored Grandad and continued writing the ticket. Grandad started shouting at him and calling him names, so the Warden started writing out another ticket for having worn tyres. So Grandad called him a “Right Miserable Git”, so he started writing out a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes, the more Grandad abused him, the more tickets he wrote out. Then he got on his little radio and called for a clamping unit, who turned up in no time at all. Whilst the two men were fitting the clamp, Grandad started on them and started calling them all sorts of names, so they did no more but called up a big truck to come and tow the car away. This arrived in 5 minutes flat and started to pick the car up and load it on their truck. Then all of a sudden a young man came running up to find his car, complete with 5 tickets and a clamp, being loaded on a truck. Grandad walked away smiling to himself, leaving the “Road Hog” arguing with the Traffic Warden, the Clampers and the Tow Truck Driver. Plus around £400 worth of tickets, unclamping fees and release fees. If only that driver had stopped and let Grandad cross over the Zebra Crossing. The good Lord never pays his debts in cash.

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