Grandad Says: You know you're old if!
Featured in the July 2008 handbook.
You think that Dot Com is the lady who used to have the sweet shop
Your joints are more accurate than the BBC Weather Service
Your back goes out more than you do.
You finally got your head together, now your body is falling apart
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size
You wake up with that morning-after feeling and you didn't do anything the night before
It takes twice as long to look half as good
People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
There's nothing left to learn the hard way
Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio
You look for your glasses for half-an-hour, then, find they've been on your head all the time
You start looking like your passport picture
Happy hour is a nap
You begin every other sentence with, "I remember when”
You are proud of your lawn mower
You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't remember being on top of it
It takes 10 minutes to find your car in the supermarket car park
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either
Your ears are hairier than your head
You frequently find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread USED to cost
You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions
You really enjoy hearing about other people's operations
Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work
You know who Jimmy Shand is
You remember vending machines that dispensed glass bottles
You know what Pathe News is
You know what 45’s and 78’s are
You still have a half filled book of Green Shield Stamps in the drawer
Race problems meant that your horse fell in the Grand National
You remember Tide, Rinso and Omo
You remember when it took five minutes for the TV to warm up
You remember that you had to pull a piece of string through the letterbox to get your front door key
And finally, you remember a time that you didn’t have to speak to somebody in
Asia if you wanted to see your bank manager, or report a fault with your phone!!!