Grandad, I need the toilet!!!

Featured in the June 2008 handbook.

Well that’s not strictly true, let me tell you what happened.

It was my Grandsons birthday, so I took him out around the shops. “So what do you want for your birthday then”? I asked him. “Grandad I want a wee”. Well that’s what I thought he said, so off we go looking for a toilet. Have you ever tried to find one when you need one? Have you ever tried to find one that’s open? After searching around, we went into McDonalds. I bought a coffee for myself and a Happy Meal for my Grandson. “Right you can use the toilet here” I said. “But I don’t need to” replied my Grandson. “I thought you said you wanted a wee” “Yes I do, for my birthday” came the reply back. Now I must admit this did throw me a bit. “You want a wee for your birthday” I asked him “What do you mean, you want a wee for your birthday”? Now Kieran is a very bright little lad and just about to reach his 6th birthday and on the

odd occasion he does pull a few stunts, so I thought it was one of his little jokes, although I really didn’t understand the joke. So we finished off in McDonalds and carried on around the shops. However every shop we went into he still kept insisting that he wanted a wee, despite me showing him nearly every toy that’s ever been made (well that’s what it felt like at the time). I just couldn’t find anything that suited as it appeared that all he wanted was a wee. In the end I took him back home to his Mum, my daughter. I explained the problem to my daughter and told her “Every shop we went into, he just kept saying he wanted a wee”. “Yes that’s right, he does” said my daughter, “we’ve got him one”. Well at this point I nearly exploded. “What in heavens name are you talking about”? I stuttered, by now I really thought the world has gone mad. Then it was all explained to me.

Apparently a “Wii” (spelt Wii but pronounced Wee) is a new fangled computer game thingy. Well what a stupid name to call it. I had traipsed all around Margate, dragging this poor little lad with me, looking for a toilet, when all the time he didn’t want a WEE he wanted a Wii.

There must be a moral to this tale, but at present it escapes me.

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