Grandad has advice for policiticians

Featured in the June 2017 handbook.

With a General Election coming up very soon, like most of us, Grandad is expecting people to come knocking on his door who are canvassing for one or other of the various political parties. The problem is that, when asked a question they all promise the earth and, like nearly every other election, once they get elected they come up with some excuse as to why they canít do what they promised. So Grandad has a few tips for them.

If and when you get elected: Completely scrap the pittance that is known as the State Pension and instead give every pensioner the sum of £1 Million pounds. Yes, £1 Million pounds, and not a penny less. Plus once a retired person reaches the age of 85, then give them a further £1 Million pounds. Of course there are a few restrictions that apply. The first one being is that they must opt out of the NHS and pay for everything privately. At a stroke, this will ease the burden on the NHS and save them millions, if not Billions of pounds. Plus it will encourage more people to become Doctors, it will encourage all these new Private Doctors to lower their prices, as they will be in constant demand. Because of more Doctors, the waiting times at Doctors Surgeries will greatly reduce, making it better for everyone all round. Job Done.

When, however any of us old 'uns are no longer able to look after ourselves, we then give all our money to our children and grandchildren, allowing them to buy a house or pay off their mortgages, which in turn will put a huge amount of money into the local economy. Then, instead of putting us in a home put us all into Prisons and put the criminals into a Nursing Home. This way all pensioners would have access to Baths and Showers, hobbies and walks, all supervised by fully trained people there to look after us. We would receive Dental and Medical treatment, wheel chairs. We would receive constant video monitoring, so we could be helped instantly, if we fell or needed assistance. Our bedding would be washed twice a week and all our clothes would be washed and ironed and returned to us. A guard would check on us every 30 minutes and bring meals or snacks to our comfortable cells, if we were unable to go to the dining room. We would have family visits in a special suite built for that purpose.

We would have access to a fully stocked library, a TV that gave us most of the channels, a radio, a computer and daily phone calls at no cost. Simple clothing, shoes, slippers and nightwear would be available free, plus if we had any problems, legal advice and any other type of advice would be readily available. A secure exercise yard and gardens are all provided. There would be a board of Directors to hear complaints and all guards would have a strict code of conduct that must be adhered to. In short, we would want for nothing. Whilst on the other hand, the criminals would get whatever food the nursing home could buy a the cheapest price, they would be charged about £600 a week and have no hope whatsoever of getting out.

Thatís it.................SORTED


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