Grandad has a night out with Barry the Barber
Featured in the September 2016 handbook.
Grandad and Nan had been invited to a party along with Barry the Barber and his wife Cordi, her full name is Cordelia but she is always known as Cordi.
The party was on a Saturday night and it was a 40th Wedding Anniversary party for one of Barry’s customers. They had arranged for a taxi to pick up Nan & Grandad first then go on to pick up Barry & Cordi. When Nan & Grandad were ready the taxi duly arrived and picked them up and they set off to pick up Barry & Cordi. They arrived a Barry’s house and Grandad jumped out of the taxi and knocked on the front door. Barry’s wife opened the door and after saying hello to Grandad she said “we’ve got a bit of a panic on” “what’s up” asked Grandad “well whenever we go out we always put the burglar alarm on, but we have to put the cat out into the kitchen or she sets the alarm off, but when Barry went to pick her up she shot off somewhere in the house and he’s trying to find her” “That’s alright” said Grandad “come on, we’ll go and wait in the taxi while he get’s it sorted. “What do we say to the driver, because we always make a point of not letting anyone know that the house is empty while we are out” said Cordi in a bit of a panic. “Don’t worry said Grandad, when we get in the cab just say he’ll be out soon as he’s just saying Good Bye to his elderly Aunt who lives with you” “Perfect” said Cordi. As they got into the taxi Cordi did just that, pointing out that the Aunt was getting on in years and liked reassuring. Time was ticking on and still no sign of Barry, lights kept going on and off all around the house, the taxi driver asked if it would be much longer as he had another pick up booked in very soon. As one, everyone apologised and assured the driver that it wouldn’t be much longer. After a further 5 minutes had passed Barry eventually came out of the front door, the driver gave a huge sigh of relief and said” I wish everyone was as considerate and caring as you are with regards to elderly people” “Barry jumped into the front seat and said” Sorry for keeping everyone waiting but the bloody old girl kept hiding, she ran up the stairs and I
followed her so she shot back down again, she crawled under the dining table and started hissing at me”. At this the taxi drivers mouth was gaping wide open. Barry continued with the story “ Then beggar me she only ran back upstairs again and hid under the bed, so I had to get a coat hanger and poke her with it to get her to come out, then she tried to take off again so I quickly grabbed her and while she was hissing and spitting I ran downstairs with her and locked her in the kitchen with a bowl of water and a few snacks, then I set the alarm and here I am” At this the taxi driver was about to have a
seizure and he very quickly put the car into gear and drove of at breakneck speed.
He never said another word for the rest of the journey, but kept giving Barry lots of sideways glances.