Grandad Goes on Holiday (or another idiot abroad)
Featured in the July 2012 handbook.
Grandad and Nan were taken on holiday to the
Dominican Republic, by their son Brian and his family.
The holiday itself was fantastic, but there were a few hiccups on the way there.
The first one was at the airport where, whilst the rest of the family were looking around the shops, Grandad was caught by a young lady promoting credit cards and got Grandad to start filling in a form.
The family came back and found Grandad in the middle of a crowd of people with the young lady promoting the cards almost in tears.
Grandad’s Daughter-in-law Diane went over to see what was happening “Whatever is going on”? Asked Diane. “Is this elderly gentleman with you”
enquired the lady. “Yes” said Diane “He’s my Father-in-law, what’s wrong” “What’s wrong, What’s wrong, look what he’s put on this application form”. Diane took the form and read it, and where it asked you to list any Dependants or anyone who relies on you for financial support, Grandad had written Northern Rock, RBS, The NHS and the countries of Spain, Greece, Portugal and Ireland, 2 million
unemployed and several thousand Asylum Seekers. “Sorry I’ll take him away” said Diane.
She turned to Grandad and said “Now just behave yourself or we’’ send you back home”
Grandad duly admonished did as he was told and very shortly everyone was called to board the aircraft, where after about 15 minutes they took off. As the aircraft reached a comfortable cruising altitude the pilot made an
announcement over the intercom.
“Good morning Ladies & Gentlemen, Boys & Girls, this is your Captain Mike Ingalls speaking and I would like to welcome you on board. We will be flying non stop to Puerto Plata in the Dominican Republic, we are currently cruising at a height of 34,000 feet and at an airspeed of 550 miles per hour, the weather ahead is good and we should have a smooth flight all the way, so just sit back and relax .........OH MY GOD!!!”
The intercom suddenly stopped working and for a full 5 minutes nothing further was said. A stewardess came walking quickly down the aisle and Grandad stopped her and asked her just what the heck was happening. “Oh, I’m sorry if that little episode frightened you but whilst the captain was talking over the intercom I spilt very hot coffee in his lap and you should see the front of his trousers, I’m just going to fetch him a clean pair from the crews quarters” said the stewardess.
“The front of his trousers, that’s nothing” said Grandad “you should see the back of mine, can you fetch me a clean pair as well”