GRANDAD LEARNS A NEW LANGUAGE

Featured in the November 2011 handbook.

One Saturday Grandad was taking advantage of the wonderful late Indian Summer weather that we had recently and was sitting out in the garden, when two of his Granddaughters along with four of their friends turned up. They spent a good two hours talking to Grandad, but when they left Grandad had no idea what they had said to him, the reason being was that they were talking what is now known as TEENAGE SPEAK.

Therefore for all you parents and Grandparents, Grandad has made a list of many of the words that were used long with the correct translation.

ALMA CHIZZIT: This translates to HOW MUCH IS IT.

AMMANT: This is AMOUNT

ASSBAND: This is HOUSEBOUND

AWSS: This is HORSE

BLACKBREE: This is BLACKBERRY (as in a new fangled mobile phone, this apparently is something that seems to be permanently stuck in your hand and if it is ever mislaid the world comes to an end)

BRANNA: This is BROWNER ( as in “You are Browner or more Suntanned”)

CORT A PANDA: This is QUATERPOUNDER (as in a Burger)

DAN IN THE MARF: This is DOWN IN THE MOUTH (as in looking sad)

EYE EELS: This is HIGH HEELS

FANK SALOT: This is THANKS A LOT

FANNIT: This is THANET (as in Browdsteers, Margit and Ramsgit)

FREE: this is THREE (as in the number that follows Two)

FURROCK: This is Thurrock (where Lakeside Shopping Centre is)

GARRIJ: This is GARAGE (the place where we used to keep our cars, but now it’s used to store all of our children’s junk)

GOROWM WORKTADO: This is GOT HOMEWORK TO DO

IBEEFA: This is IBIZA (as in a popular holiday island)

LAFARJIK: This is LETHARGIC (as in lacking in energy)

PAIPA: This is PAPER (as in Daily Mail, Daily Mirror etc.)

TAN: This is TOWN (as in Browdsteers, Margit and Ramsgit)

WEBBATS: This is WHEREABOUTS ( as in whereabouts do you live)

WONNID: This is Wanted (as in I wanted to go out tonight but can’t afford it)

ZAGGERATE: This is EXAGGERATE (as in to suggest something is bigger than it really is)

So there you have it, you should now be able to hold a reasonable conversation with your children or grandchildren.

GOOD LUCK

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