Grandad Explains the Aging Process

Featured in the March 2011 handbook.

GRANDAD EXPLAINS THE AGING PROCESS

Although Grandad is well past “Middle Age” many of his younger family, and their friends, keep asking him “When do you know that you have reached Middle Age”?

Grandad thought about this and came up with a check list.

YOU KNOW YOU HAVE REACHED MIDDLE AGE WHEN:

- You leave clubs before the end to "beat the rush".

- You get more excited about having a roast on a Sunday than going clubbing.

- You stop dreaming of becoming a professional footballer and start dreaming that your son might become one.

- You prefer ITV3 to MTV on the Television.

- Before going out anywhere you ask what the parking is like.

- Rather than throw an old pair of trainers out you keep them for the garden.

- You buy your first ever Tee Shirt without anything written on it.

- You start to worry about your parents health.

- You find that you have more disposable income, but everything you want costs between £200 and £500.

- Pop music starts to sound bloody awful.

- You always have enough milk in the fridge.

- While flicking through the TV channels, you happen upon Time Team with Tony Robinson. You get drawn in.

- The benefits of a Pension Scheme become clear.

- You go out of your way to pick up a colour chart from B&Q.

- You wish you had a shed.

- You HAVE a shed and start using it.

- You actually find yourself saying "They don't make 'em like that anymore" and "I remember when there were only 4 TV channels" and "Of course, in my day...."

- In the car you find yourself listening to Radio 2 and you can sing along to most of the songs.

- When sitting outside a pub you become envious of their hanging baskets.

- You make an effort to be in and out of the curry house by - You find yourself saying "is it cold in here or is it just me?"

- You really enjoy “Lark Rise to Candleford” on TV.

- Cool means something that has just come out of the fridge.

- Your favourite clothes start to feel tight on you.

- You visit DIY stores on Bank Holidays

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