Grandad Chats with Barry the Barber
Featured in the September 2010 handbook.
Grandad was talking with Barry the Barber about something that Barry’s wife had said. “She was moaning at me about how us men have it so much better” said Barry. “What was it that she said then” asked Grandad. “Well she reeled off a long list of things” replied Barry “Just listen to what she said:”
Men are happier people.
Your last name stays put.
The Garage is all yours.
Wedding Plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks and engines.
A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Your underwear is £3.50 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 24 relatives on 24th December in 24 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
“Blimey, what brought all this on” said Grandad
“Well it was while the World Cup was on, the England match was just about to kick off and all I said was, when you’ve finished cutting the lawn, will you make me a cuppa, then she just went into one” said Barry with a puzzled look on his face.