Grandad hears all about 118

Featured in the May 2010 handbook.

Grandad’s second eldest Granddaughter Gemma took a temporary job for the Easter break from University. It was a job with one of the many companies that have sprung up and replaced what used to be Directory Enquiries. During her time there she could not believe some of the calls that she received, below are listed just a few of them.

Caller: “I’d like the number of the ORWICH FISH BAR please”

Gemma: “I’m sorry there is no listing for the ORWICH FISH BAR, is the spelling correct?”

Caller: “Well it used to be called the NORWICH FISH BAR until the N fell off”

Caller: “I’d like the number for the Knitwear Company in a place called Woven”

Gemma: “Woven, are you sure?”

Caller: “Yes, that’s what it says on the label WOVEN IN SCOTLAND”

Caller: “Can you give me the number for the RSPCA please”

Gemma: “Where are you calling from?”

Caller: “The living room”

Caller: “The number for the water board please”

Gemma: “Which department”

Caller: “The tap department”

Caller: “I’d like the number for a vicar in Norwich”

Gemma: “Do you have his name?”

Caller: “No but he has a dog named Ben”

Caller: “The number for the Union of Shopkeepers and Alligators please”

Gemma: “Do you mean the Amalgamated Union of Shopkeepers?”

Also after spending a long time listening to one caller who was asking for a very unusual name, Gemma asked the caller “How are you spelling that?”

“With letters” replied the caller.

Finally Gemma received a call from a rather well spoken Gentleman who after asking for the number of a certain Dentist started making heave breathing sounds. She was about to cut him off when he said “Sorry, but I haven’t got a pen and I’m in a phone box and breathing on the windows to steam them up so I can write the number down”

Gemma has decided that during the next holidays from University she will do what most other students do and get a job in a Burger Bar.


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