Grandad loses a friend.

Featured in the March 2010 handbook.

Grandad has just heard some very sad news, a beloved old friend of his has finally given up the ghost and passed away. Grandad was saddened to hear about the news because he had been looking for his old friend for a long time. Grandad thought his friend had just gone away somewhere and would very soon put in a long overdue appearance. However this is now not to be.

The name of this friend……COMMON SENSE.

Now Common Sense has been with us for many years, no one was sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic Red Tape.

He will be long remembered as having cultivated valuable lessons such as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain.

Why the early bird gets the worm.

Life isn’t always fair.

And….Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound principles (Don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable strategies (Adults, not children are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well meaning but overbearing and downright bloody stupid regulations were put into place. Such as a 6 year old boy being charged with sexual harassment after kissing his 6 year old sweetheart in a game of Kiss Chase. Teenagers being suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch. Boys being forbidden to play conkers. Changing the words of Nursery Rhymes such as Baa Baa Black Sheep. Plus a teacher being fired, after 17 years in his job, for reprimanding an unruly pupil. Common Sense also lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they as parents had failed to do, in disciplining their unruly and troublesome children. Or the case of the Teacher who was taken to court for “Daring” to take a sticky plaster out of her handbag and put it on the cut knee of a 7 year old boy.

Common Sense began losing the will to live as Criminals received far better treatment than their victims and householders were charged, taken to court and convicted for daring to stand up to burglars who had broken into their homes. The final nail in the coffin and the one that eventually killed him off was after a woman, who had purchased a “STEAMING HOT” cup of coffee and spilled a little in her lap, was promptly awarded a huge cash settlement because the café concerned did not display a notice stating that hot coffee is “HOT”.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, TRUTH and TRUST, by his wife DISCRETION, by his daughter RESPONSIBILITY and by his son REASON. He is survived by his 4 cousins by marriage, I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame and I’m A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because, like Grandad, so few realised he was not just missing but dead. The epitaph on his gravestone reads “HERE LIES COMMON SENSE WHO DIED FROM POLICTICAL CORRECTNESS”

If you still remember him then say a little prayer that one day a long lost relative of his will suddenly turn up an put things right again. It really is times like this when you begin to wonder if Guy Fawkes was right in trying to blow up the Houses of Parliament.


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